First things first -- the word "rave." I don't like it. Using it today makes people sound like they're equating the massives today with the underground shit from back in the day. And I am not even coming at this from the "it was so much better back then!" angle per se, because I wasn't around back then. I just think that the kind of event a "rave" referred to is not the same as what we're doing today in the EDM scene. I use the word "rave" sometimes because it's a lot less clunky than, say, "DJ show" or "Electronic music event" or "EDM massive" or whatever other overly-descriptive substitutes have been offered. So there's that. "Rave" it is. (Sometimes.)
When I first started going to these things, whatever they were, I went with Casper. We were kind of the only people who liked this stuff, and we liked doing it together. It wasn't until much later that I started going with other (female) friends and couldn't help but notice a slight difference in the way that my presence was received when I went without Casper. It was different, and it was a little creepy.
At first, for awhile, as someone who hadn't ever done the whole ecstasy thing and really couldn't put myself in the shoes of someone who was on it, I just accepted all of the touchy-feelyness as "what just happens." It's PLUR, man! It's love! It's love through music! We're connected through beats and synths!
But then I realized more and more that it wasn't like guys were walking up to other guys and just touching them. No, guys were only walking (dancing?) up to girls and touching them.
I can't speak for anyone else, but as a girl, this is what makes it hard to have hobbies. Seriously. My enjoyment of music has to stop at me listening to it at home, because when I go out and my boyfriend isn't around, I have to accept being arbitrarily fondled. And that's something I don't really want to accept.
Some people will say, "Hello, do you see what girls WEAR at raves?" I direct those people to all of my prior photos of what I've worn to raves. I've gotten groped wearing jeans, a tank top, and chucks. So have a lot of other people. Women who wear burkas get groped. I got groped when I was thirteen years old, wearing braces, a t-shirt, and jean shorts, the first time I ever went to a "discotech" in Italy, while I was on a school trip, with my teacher chaperones standing not but 10 feet away. So no, I don't accept any variant of the "she was inviting it" as a good argument, reason, or explanation why this shit happens.
Groping happens. It blows. So why am I talking about raves again? Well, I guess it has to do with what I mentioned above -- the PLUR effect. The idea that if you still want your personal space, you're missing out on the "experience" of lovingly touching and being touched by other people. Sorry, it's not for me. Sometimes I just want to listen to music because I like the music, not because I want to buy into whatever bizarre counter-culture springs up around it.
When I first started going to these things, whatever they were, I went with Casper. We were kind of the only people who liked this stuff, and we liked doing it together. It wasn't until much later that I started going with other (female) friends and couldn't help but notice a slight difference in the way that my presence was received when I went without Casper. It was different, and it was a little creepy.
At first, for awhile, as someone who hadn't ever done the whole ecstasy thing and really couldn't put myself in the shoes of someone who was on it, I just accepted all of the touchy-feelyness as "what just happens." It's PLUR, man! It's love! It's love through music! We're connected through beats and synths!
But then I realized more and more that it wasn't like guys were walking up to other guys and just touching them. No, guys were only walking (dancing?) up to girls and touching them.
I can't speak for anyone else, but as a girl, this is what makes it hard to have hobbies. Seriously. My enjoyment of music has to stop at me listening to it at home, because when I go out and my boyfriend isn't around, I have to accept being arbitrarily fondled. And that's something I don't really want to accept.
Some people will say, "Hello, do you see what girls WEAR at raves?" I direct those people to all of my prior photos of what I've worn to raves. I've gotten groped wearing jeans, a tank top, and chucks. So have a lot of other people. Women who wear burkas get groped. I got groped when I was thirteen years old, wearing braces, a t-shirt, and jean shorts, the first time I ever went to a "discotech" in Italy, while I was on a school trip, with my teacher chaperones standing not but 10 feet away. So no, I don't accept any variant of the "she was inviting it" as a good argument, reason, or explanation why this shit happens.
Groping happens. It blows. So why am I talking about raves again? Well, I guess it has to do with what I mentioned above -- the PLUR effect. The idea that if you still want your personal space, you're missing out on the "experience" of lovingly touching and being touched by other people. Sorry, it's not for me. Sometimes I just want to listen to music because I like the music, not because I want to buy into whatever bizarre counter-culture springs up around it.
discothèque*
ReplyDeletehttp://ifeelbadcorrectingyou.com/
ReplyDeleteSo... don't? I mean, thx for the knowledges, but hopefully there were a lot of other words in the post more meaningful collectively than the bad American spelling of a non-American word.