Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Day 20 - A hobby

All right. Let's have some real talk about my life.

I think my hermit tendencies may have first started to blossom senior year of college, when I would spend an embarrassing amount of my free time watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD in my room by myself. I still went out a lot and made sure to enjoy that last year of college, but certain things (I'm looking at you, Biochem 153L) reminded me that I have, in one way or another, resigned myself to a life that's gonna involve a lot of me spending quality time with me, myself, and a box of autoclaved filter-tips.

So, my hobbies? They're a lot less social than they used to be. I used to dance and play team sports. Now, I just tend to entertain myself when I'm not at school. Don't catch yourself thinking though that my hobbies are weak-sauce. In fact, one of them would run you over and award itself shiny gold stars the better it ruined your face.

I think what this game means when it says it's appropriate for seven-year-olds is that you're never too young to learn the value of wrecking shit. Basically, Excite Truck is a racing game. But the truth is, the winner isn't the person who crosses the finish line first. It's the person who has the most points. And how do you get points?

Well, for instance, you can crash into a bunch of stuff. You get points for that. If you totally annihilate another truck, "SUPER TRUCK SMASH" gives you maximum stars. Can't stay on the road? "SUPER TREE RUN." Take a turn too wide and then crash into something? "SUPER DRIFT!" followed by "NICE CRASH!"

Obviously, this is my kind of game. Check out the theme song.

This is like elevator music, if it just had its face rocked off at a heavy metal concert and then it was transplanted with awesome. Now, imagine yourself listening to this and driving a monster truck around some kind of terrain that doesn't always make sense (tornadoes in Canada?) and tell me that you can't imagine the glee infiltrating your body as the crescendo of this wicked awesome song propels you into the back end of another truck that is gonna spend the rest of its life crying over how you totally pwned its sorry ass.

So, your hobbies might get you some cool photos on facebook, but mine will run you over in a big ass truck.