Sunday, September 23, 2012

Things I was really proud of when I was younger

Maybe as a kid you weren't as competitive as I was, but if you were, you may be able to relate to my experience of turning the dumbest things into a competition. Here are some I was actually proud of "winning" as a youngster:
  • Having the fastest WPM on "Mario Teaches Typing"
  • Having the biggest shoe size among my girl friends
  • Being the "best" girl longjumper in my class (my Olympic dreams were promptly and thoroughly dashed at our first track meet which involved other schools)
  • Having the most successful "business" of leasing out my Beanie Babies for the day to sit on the desktops of other students who were not fortunate enough to own their own Beanie Babies -- No shit. I actually did this. There was a sign up sheet on my locker, and for a small fee of whatever-it-was-I-don't-remember I would let classmates rent my Beanie Babies for the day so that they could avoid looking dreadfully uncool by not having them around in class. Other people caught onto what I was doing and tried to replicate it, but I was the original gangsta and no one came close to my entrepreneurship
  • Being tall enough to stand in the back row for class pictures
  • Building the longest clover chains
  • Finding substantial vats of "Indian clay" -- I can't even begin to describe what this could have actually been, but it was what we called the clay-like mud that occasionally could be found underneath our sand pits and the like. So PC of us...
  • Being able to withstand Indian burns the longest -- and as long as I'm remembering inappropriate uses of "Indian," here is another dumb accomplishment. Who is actually proud of letting their classmates injure the shit out of their arm skin? I was!
Were you a goofy kid too?


  1. LMAO @ your beanie baby endeavors. I could not stop laughing after I read that...

    and I'm with you on making clover chains (same as daisy chains right? those crappy weed things with the white flowers on top?). I remember playing softball as a kid, and always wanting to be in the outfield for that exact reason...the field had a most excellent crop of those shitty weeds.

    1. Yes, daisy chains and clover chains are definitely the same stupid weed. And I did the same thing with softball! That was definitely a sport I didn't care about much, so the chains took priority.